Tuesday, 21 May 2013

i am a mother

Sometimes I read these books about authentic faith and a fruitful life and I start to get a pain in my chest and a throbbing in my head. I rack my brain, wondering, what on earth am I doing that is fruitful? My interactions with people outside of my family and close friends are minimal at best. I am not feeding the poor in Ghana. I am not reaching out to the poor and marginalized in my community. What am I even doing?

And then I remember. I am following the stirrings in my heart. I am listening to the Holy Spirit in my life. And I am answering the call as a Mother.

I am waking up each day, thanking the Lord for the life he has placed in my hands. I'm not perfect. I fail all the time. I forget to pray before meals. I get frustrated when I try to the Children's Bible to my 1-year-old and the pages end up ripped. Sometimes I sit on the computer too long, while my daughter plays with my toes under the desk. I do fail, even I rely on my own strength and ability.

But then I give myself grace. I relinquish the control to God. I lift up my face, close my eyes, and pour out my heart to MY Father. The one who has instructed and taught me. And I wait for Him to do a work in my heart, in my daughter's heart.

I may be young. I may even be a little poor (according the the developed world). I may be immature and sometimes silly. I may be confused about how this whole parenting thing works. But I have God. I have faith. and I have the conviction that where I am is where I am meant to be.

Being a mother to my daughter.

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